The Impact of Divorce on Children

The Impact of Divorce on Children Brenda Keller Liberty University Abstract This paper considers the effects that divorce has on children under the age of 18. Some of the areas considered are: the emotional impact, the different impact on ages infant to teenager as well as examining the long-term effects that are carried into adulthood. This paper also looks at ways to help children cope during the various phases of the divorce and how to understand if and why a child places the blame upon themselves for what is happening. The Impact of Divorce on Children Statistics

Multiple studies have been completed on the numerous ways that divorce impacts children under the age of eighteen. In one study that began in 1973 shows that at least one million children per year are affected by divorce and this number increases slightly each year (McGuinness, 2006). Considering the fact that one out of every two marriages today ends in divorce and many divorcing families include children, the number of those affected is very high (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 2012). Emotional Impact One of the most obvious ways that a child is impacted is emotionally. Nearly all children and many adolescents initially experience separation and divorce as painful and traumatic. ” Communication is very important for children during divorce. Children may become frightened and confused during divorce. They feel a loss of their security and they may even blame themselves for breaking up their parents. In fact, according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 2012 “divorce can be misinterpreted by children unless parents tell them what is happening, how they are involved and not involved, and what will happen to them. In 2001, Foulkes-Jamison’s article stated that often, children initially focus on these immediate negative effects of the family breaking up, and do not find comfort in knowing that other families that have divorced eventually do okay. Impact on Infants (Birth to 8 months) Although very young infants may not truly understand what is happening when a divorce occurs, this does not necessarily mean that it has no effect on them. Infants will often take on the emotions of their parents.

According to Leon 2004, “Young infants do not have much control over their own emotions. Their feelings are influenced by their parents’ feelings. When a parent acts worried or sad around an infant, the infant is likely to feel worried or sad. ” (8 months to 18 months) Older infants begin to sense when their parents are absent. Because divorce usually means that the infant will be separated more often from one parent this can have an emotional effect on the infant. “Infants may cry, scream or cling when a parent is leaving.

It is hard for an infant to be separated from a parent, especially for a long period of time, such as overnight” (Leon, 2004). Impact on Toddlers (18 months to 3 years) Toddlers differ from smaller infants as they are beginning to talk and understand more of what is being said to and around them. Leon 2004 states “even though toddlers are learning to use language, there are many things they don’t understand. They understand that one parent is not living in the home, but they do not understand why. Impact on Preschoolers (4 to 5 years) A preschool aged child is beginning to understand things much better than an infant or toddler. Divorce can cause a great deal of stress for children at this age, In 2001, Foulkes-Jamison stated “Preschoolers tend to be “emotionally needy,” have fears related to abandonment, and may display acting-out behaviors following their parents’ divorce or separation. Preschoolers are likely to become very distressed during visit exchanges. Preschoolers may display fears associated with divorce such as a fear being left alone or abandoned altogether. Sometimes these fears maybe expressed in ways such as wanting their security blanket or old toys, or they begin wetting the bed. They will often begin to act disobedient and aggressive (University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension, 2006). Impact on School-Aged Children (6 to 11 years) When you consider the ages of school-aged children it is logical that they will fully understand what is happening during divorce.

Some psychologists believe the adjustment to parental divorce is more difficult for elementary school children than for younger or older children (University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension, 2006). They will often have feelings of grief, embarrassment, resentment, divided loyalty and intense anger associated with the changes in their family (University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension, 2006). Impact on Adolescents (12 to18 years) The last age group considered in this paper is the adolescents.

Teenagers are able to understand the cause of the divorce. They will frequently become angry, bitter and even resentful for what is happening. “Some feel pushed into adulthood if they must take responsibility for many new chores or care of siblings. Teens may respond to parents’ low energy level and high stress level by trying to take control over the family” (University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension, 2006). Coping with Change Regardless of the age, all children from divorced families have to learn to cope with the many changes in their family.

Preschoolers lack the coping skills that are needed adjust to all the changes associated with divorce, which place them at risk of having more adjustment problems than an older child (Foulkes-Jamison, 2001). Parents play a big role in helping their children to adjust to the changes that occur during a divorce. In 2006, McGuinness reported that family relationships also directly affect children’s adjustment, especially when mothers and fathers exercise effective parenting, retaining their parental role of guiding their children espite Stressors such as lower family income and relocation. Long-Term Effects In addition to the immediate effects that children experience from divorce, there are often long-term effects that last into adulthood. According to Amato and Cheadle 2005, “offspring with divorced parents are more likely to drop out of high school, less likely to attend college, more likely to be unemployed, and more likely to experience economic hardship as adults. ” which often last into adulthood.

As adults, children of divorce are more likely to earn lower salaries, give birth outside of marriage, and have poor marriages themselves, with higher risks for divorce (McGuinness, 2006). As reported by Desai 2006, Psychologist Judith Wallerstein followed a group of children of divorce from the 1970s into the 1990s. Interviewing them at 18 months and then 5, 10, 15 and 25 years after the divorce, she expected to find that they had bounced back.

But what she found was dismaying: Even 25 years after the divorce, these children continued to experience substantial expectations of failure, fear of loss, fear of change and fear of conflict. Conclusion In conclusion, there is no denying that children of divorced families are impacted by the trauma and changes that occur regardless if they are an infant or teenager. While virtually every child suffers the lost relationship and lost security described above, for many, the emotional scars have additional, more visible consequences.