While I understand certain positive aspects of her extremist theory, I believe that Western parenting is in fact the way to go. Not only should parents respect their children’s opinions and desires, her definition of success is tremendously subjective and is most likely not representative of your average parent’s definition of the term. What is Amy Chua really achieving by forcing her daughter to take intensive piano lessons and practice “at least ninety minutes every day, including weekends” ? Nothing at all.
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The truth is she is totally disregarding her daughter’s physical and mental abilities, which is simply unhealthy. Most kids would probably not enjoy such a task, and most likely grow to resent the instrument forced upon them. Perhaps learning such a complex instrument could be a beneficial thing for a child’s growth, but Chua’s approach is more counterproductive than anything, in my opinion. “We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn’t let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom.
Extreme disciplinary measures such as depriving your child of basic sanitary needs are simply abusive and should not be promoted in any way whatsoever. In contrast to her parenting method, I would observe my child and help him develop his own interests and talents, instead of pressuring him into doing something against his will. Furthermore, I strongly believe that qualities such as motivation, passion, self-awareness, and commitment are built-in, therefore cannot be taught. Yes, you could learn to develop those qualities, and that’s what Chua did with her daughters, but the seeds have to be planted beforehand.
Those inner, natural qualities were an undeniably important part of Louisa and Sophia’s success and had nothing to do with Chua’s extreme parenting. Let’s face it, Chua was somewhat lucky that her kids turned out the way they did, the outcome could’ve been different. That being said, I do agree with some statements made by Chua. Indeed, she is right when claiming that most Americans are far too tolerant when it comes to raising their children and that the United States is falling behind eastern countries such as India and China.
However, I do believe that a healthy balance between academics and social activities can be achieved and Chua definitely needs to realize that. Additionally, Chua’s definition of success is highly subjective and does not represent your average population’s expectations. In the “Tiger Mom” parenting handbook, success is solely academic. I strongly disagree that academic “achievement reflects successful parenting”. Such close-mindedness, I think, is a huge flaw in her philosophy.
Sure, her parenting method may have worked for her definition of success (academic), but that’s only one way to look at it. What about going on a humanitarian trip to Africa and helping the people in need? Wouldn’t that be considered as being successful? Maybe your child didn’t win “the Greater New Haven Concerto Competition at the age of ten” , but he sure is successful, even though Chua would probably disagree. Moreover, I’m certain that relatively any child could achieve Sophia and Louisa’s academic accomplishments, if pushed hard enough.
Sure, the prestige and praise would be gratifying, but at what cost? The cost of a childhood, lost forever. Chua needs to understand that success in life does not always revolve around academic success, and certainly does not revolve around her parenting philosophy. Children who have been raised in this fashion often grow up to become uncreative, uncaring, unimaginative and plain selfish. While they might eventually become successful lawyers or rich brokers, others are on their way to making this world a better place, and hat’s my definition of success.
That drive to succeed, however, must come from within. To conclude, Chua’s infamous “Tiger Mom” parenting method continues to spark debate and discontent throughout America, and the rest of the world. While Chua was simply expressing her philosophy’s superiority over the Western parenting ways, she undeniably wrong, for the most part. Was introducing the traditional eastern parenting ways to America a mistake? Was she simply seeking attention? Is she a marketing genius?While these questions remain unanswered, it’s evident that Chua had everything planned from the start. I have a feeling we’re not finished hearing about Chua and her “successful” daughters.
