As more women than men are struck with Alzehimer’s Disease and Osteoporosis, men are given new roles of caring for their loved ones. Relatively new to men, caregiver responsibilities and issues present an array of new, possibly overwhelming concerns.
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Male caregivers need information and support services to reduce the stress level of their growing task.
The discovery of a failing health condition may often set depression in the family and cause a mix of sentiments and frustration in a time where the patient needs utmost care. Extended over a prolonged period, patients needing full time assistance require more than physical strength and endurance from caregivers.
Changing times have opened doors for men. Men’s exclusive domains in breadwinning and leadership have attracted women. Despite our long history of male dominance and career-driven men, it has become apparent that differences in women and men’s roles are narrowing. Such shifts increase the male’s openness to roles at home. Traditionally viewed as a woman’s role, caring for the family comes with emotional challenges, a considerably gray area for most men who are reclusive.
The ability to withstand differences in society’s gender roles depend on the relationship of the couple. Emotions and value towards the diseased spouse are the bases for motivation. Positive emotions give way to positive behavior and attitude – a welcoming approach to caring for a loved one. However, sustained caregiving may prove to be exhausting. When people are presented with new tasks, a mask of discomfort and uneasiness is experienced. Men new to caregiving responsibilities exert more effort in the attempt to maintain a ‘normal’ family schedule, one in which they were accustomed to.
A person’s work background also affects personality and, thus, judgment and actions later in life. Our environment nurtures us individually. Marriage, for instance, is strongly associated with occupational success in men. Researchers speculate that the effect may be attributed to the (psychological, social, occupational) support men get from their wives (Mortimer, Lorence,and Kumka, 1982). On the other hand, women do not necessarily get a career boost from their marriages. Only in recent decades, women have adhered to a typical male career pattern leading to changes in roles of married couples.
With age, people’s concerns change. Family life considerably affect an individual’s feeling of compassion, tenderness, and autonomy (Feldman, Beringen, and Nash, 1981). As parents, women became more tender while men’s leadership and autonomy increased. But as they became grandparents, women became more autonomous and men became more compassionate and tender. Hands-on in childrearing may have more effect in attitudes of men towards caring for their wives. The experience also depends on society’s impact on the men as few standards or perceptions are evident on a father’s role in child rearing.
People’s evaluation of life also changes as they grow older. While 20-year-olds are more focused on attaining success goals, adults nearing the age of 50 have more stable concepts of life and living…accepting the way life is and having greater satisfaction with their family (Gould, 1972). Older men caring for their diseased spouse tend to be more at ease with tasks at hand and make better caregivers.
A disruption or unexpected event like a grave illness becomes traumatic and contributes to stressful conditions when people are trying to cope with major transitions in life. In some cases, men extend their autonomy and control to care and attend to household needs when a couple grows older. This attempt to be more independent and have a choice over their lives, rather than confine a loved one in a health facility, contribute to happier, more alert and active lives.
Men may initially be embarrassed or feel guilty with lack of information or inexperience. Workshops must also be structured to appeal to men and be viewed as networks rather than support groups. As male caregivers increase in number, society will gradually embrace men’s new role and skill.
References
Bootzin, R., G. Bower, and R. Zajonc. (1986). Psychology Today, 6th ed. Random House, NY.
Feldman, S., Z. Beringen, and S. Nash. (1981). Fluctuations of sex-related self attributions as the functions of the state and family life cycle. Developmental Psychology. 17, 24-35.
Gould, R. (1972). The phases of adult life: A study in developmental psychology. American Journal of Psychiatry. 129, 521-531.
Mortimer, J.T., J. Lorence, and D. Kumka. (1982). Work and family linkages in the transition to adulthood: A panel study of highly educated men. Western Sociological Review, 13(1).
