Humility
When I was still studying to obtain my doctorate degree in the United Kingdom, I once took a walk in the countryside with my professor, Dr. Martin O’Kane. While we were walking, I told him that my employer needs me because I am the only person in my country who can be considered an expert in my field of specialization. Simply put, I am the only person who can do the work which I do in my country. Dr. O’Kane then asked me, “Do you know the graveyard?”
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“Yes,” I replied. “It’s the place where bodies are buried after their death.”
Dr. O’Kane commented, “Some of those dead people thought that they are so important and life cannot be continued without their contribution! But life continued either they are around or not; they are in the graveyard now and the cycle of live is still running.”
He continued, “You should never say that you are so important and work cannot run without you; work will be carried on in all circumstances either you are there or not.”
Looking back, I now realize the value of what Dr. O’Kane was trying to tell me. Hence, our aforementioned conversation means a lot to me now.
Humility apparently has no place in today’s society. The current popular image of a successful individual usually consists of a person with a cocky swagger, a rebel who “breaks the rules” and expects to be on top from doing so. In addition, humility nowadays is often associated with weakness, submissiveness and fear. But in sharp contrast to this connotation, humility is an indication of courage, strength and real confidence.
Our forefathers viewed humility as one of the most important traits a person should have. Aesop’s fable entitled The Mules and the Robbers told of two mules – one carried panniers filled with money, while the other bore sacks of grain. The mule that was laden with money “walked with head erect, and tossed up and down the bells fastened to his neck.” The mule that carried grain, on the other hand, “followed with quiet and easy step.” The first mule’s arrogance led to his untimely death in the hands of robbers, who stole his treasure before killing him.
Even history’s greatest thinkers and leaders put a premium on humility. Referring to arrogance, former United States President Abraham Lincoln said, “What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.” Scientist Benjamin Franklin, meanwhile, claimed that “a man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.” Former United States Supreme Court Associate Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes believed that “most of us retain enough of the theological attitude to think that we are little gods.”
Unfortunately, humility seems to be incompatible with today’s culture. Placing emphasis on wealth, power and influence, arrogance is now mistaken for “self-acceptance,” “self-love” and “high self-esteem.” Humility, on the other hand, has been dismissed as “low self-esteem,” “putting down one’s self,” “timidity” and “becoming a wallflower.” In order to make themselves look good, people are expected to project their abilities and actions as something that are bigger than they really are.
While there is nothing wrong with feeling good about one’s self, humility is necessary for a person to have a realistic view of who he or she really is. A humble person is honest with himself or herself. He or she honestly acknowledges his or her strengths (as well as their magnitude) and his or her weaknesses. Furthermore, a humble person is not afraid to receive criticisms from other people because he or she does not view himself or herself as a “perfect” person, but as someone who is still capable of changing and improving.
However, there is a big difference between humility and false modesty. Humility is the absence of pride, or the basis of one’s self-worth on the ability to keep up with other people. False modesty, meanwhile, is downplaying the recognition one receives for an achievement. By devaluing their accomplishments, arrogant people are expecting to receive more praise from others.
Despite the “me first” mentality of today’s word, humility must never be disregarded. When an individual practices humility, he or she becomes courteous and respectful of other people. Humble people are able to let go of their needs and demands to meet those of others. Arrogance, on the other hand, is more than just inordinate self-promotion. Assertions of prideful people often result in angry words, malicious gossip and resentment, which, in turn, lead to enmity, division and broken relationships.
The first step towards practicing humility is to give others the credit that is due to them. Humble people accept the fact that there will always be people who will be smarter and more accomplished than they are. In addition, they know that they cannot be successful through their own efforts alone. Hence, humble people take the time to show appreciation to those who helped them reach their goals. In sharp contrast, prideful individuals will do everything just to get credit for themselves alone.
Humble people likewise avoid name or experience-dropping. Those who engage in these practices try to boost their self-importance by constantly associating themselves with famous individuals and or boasting their achievements. But in truth, they just end up being arrogant and annoying. Humble people, on the other hand, are secure of themselves – they believe that they can get the interest of others without continuously promoting themselves through others or their accomplishments. Furthermore, humble people are also aware that others are just as important and as interesting as they are.
Unlike the humble, the arrogant wants his or her charitable acts to be known by everyone. They make these the frequent topic of conversations, constantly remind others of their acts of generosity towards them and even post pictures of their good deeds on Facebook or MySpace. Their actions make it very obvious that they perform charitable acts just to acquire praise from other people and stoke their egos in the process. Humble people, in sharp contrast, are not self-seeking. They keep their good deeds to themselves because they do these solely for the benefit of others.
Indeed, Dr. O’Kane was right. No matter how talented or competent a person is, he or she is not indispensable. He or she can always be replaced by someone who is more adept at what he or she does. The humble, however, does not feel threatened with this. He or she knows and understands that the advancements of any institution were brought about by people who were not afraid to accept and apply ideas that were better than theirs.
